Well, today was a good day. The internal tension that I have been having for the past few weeks has been released when I finally got to tell her how I felt. Now, it is not that fact that she needed to know what I had to say, but it was more for me to get it out of my system and for me to stop thinking about it. Needless to say, it was probably the best thing I could have done. I mean, it was something I have been meaning to say (get out of my system) for sometime, but it really just all got messed up in the end. I had more to say, but really, what I said in under a minute summed it all up. This is probably better since I have a tendency to blab. In either case this person, who I think they know who they are (KEA), showed me something that I don’t do a lot. That is thinking positive.
Ok, so, maybe it seems that I am pretty positive on the outside, but inside I hold a lot of stuff in and I am probably way more a pessimist than an optimist. In talking to her online she was basically saying that no matter what the day brought her she always had the best thing of the day on her mind and nothing else. I envy this, seriously. I always seem to focus on the negative. Maybe it is because I want to build on the negative, but if I focused on the positive and built on that, what could happen? Probably a lot.
I can’t seem to appreciate all the other POSTIVE things that happen during my day. Things like hanging out with the INFO peeps, super friends’ lunch, or just anything else that would make my day. I always let the little shit get in the way. I have to learn to move on from these things, but it is going to be hard. I wish I had this attitude all the time, but I can’t help to think about how things could have been different. I need to stop with the “What if?” and start thinking more positively about my day and about myself.