Why do I do this?

For the first two years that I attended school at UW I must say that I didn’t have much, if any, drama at all. But, for some reason, it seems like recently I have been causing drama between myself and some, well really one, of my friends. I honestly don�t mean to do this to people, but sometimes it just happens and I snap. Similar to what happened last night. I won�t go into details, since they don�t matter at this point, but I just snapped at one of my better friends. Something just came over me, that I can�t really explain, and I just went off.

Part of it was that I was taken back by what was said to me, but at the same time I should know better than to flip out like this to someone whom I care for. I should be a bigger man than that. But, I just fell apart and let the words get to me. I mean, what was said was not to be taken the way it was, but I got really offended by it and I just lost it. I hurt her, and I didn�t mean to at all.

Which, after it happened, made me think. Do I really know how much I affect people? I don�t really think I have the slightest idea. I am always putting myself behind other people and trying to put them before me, but at the same time I don�t see the effect that I have on other people. Even when you tell me, I probably will not believe you. So, it is hard for me to hear that I make a difference in someone else�s life. I just don�t see how I could. Personally I don�t see what I do that makes me stand out from the next guy. I just go about my business and just try to be me.