Why does it seem that as the older we get the more grueling our days become? Is it because be have more responsibilities to ourself and to others? Or, is it because our lives are just filled with more to do? Wouldn’t it be nice to just enjoy a day and have no worries about anything else, except for your concern if it will rain or not?
Today, when I was walking back to campus from the computer store, I walked past a day care. It was really interesting to see these little kids just sitting there, enjoying the nice Seattle weather, and having a half of a banana. I was really jealous when I walked by. These kids seemed to have the most enjoyment when they were eating that banana and just sitting there watching the say slowly creep by. I could only walk by and watch for roughly the time it took me to walk past, but it just make me jealous of what they were there savoring. I wish that I could have just slowed down like they were, but time was awasting and I had things that needed to be done back at Mary Gates Hall.
It seems that everyday, at least recently, I have been busy with so many things that I cannot sit back and just enjoy “the banana.” I am always moving from one task to another and there is not much downtime in between. Now, I can’t really complain too much about this because if I did this would lead me to call my self a hypocrite and I really don’t want to do that. I would have killed for this much to do (friends, school, relationships, etc…) when I was a Freshman. Now, my time is “well structured” and there are the rare times when I actually have to do nothing, nothing at all.
Yes, there are times where I am just hanging out with the lady or with friends. But for some reason I don’t consider this down time for myself. Now, my mind is definitely not on school when I am just hanging out, but I can’t come to grips with the fact that I am doing nothing and just enjoying the moment. I guess when I am just sitting around, by myself, with nothing to do I feel satisfied, but I miss not doing something during this time. I just can’t win. Maybe school is beginning to burn me out and I am just waiting to move on to what is next. Or, maybe there is so much going on in my life that I just can’t line it all up like I would like to. These are just some things that I will have to deal with and I can accept that. But, recently, I am having a hard time trying to see where this “down time” is going to be fit back into things.
In this quarter there are group projects in all of my classes and in only one of the classes I got to pick my group. Now, this is a point that I really shouldn’t complain about since this is what will happen in the future when I get a job and I will not have the “choice” on who I am working with. In either case, it will be an interesting and grueling quarter. I think the thing that threw me off was my expectation of this quarter. I was anticipating the fact that this quarter would be easier than the last. I was dead wrong on this. Lectures are finally covering material that I know nothing about and I just feel lost and swamped buy it all. It is just very overwhelming right now. However, I think that this quarter has the potential to serve up the most rewarding work that I have done academically, ever.
We have a large group project in INFO 380, which I plan to spend a large amount of time working on this quarter. There there is INFO 310 which is a more traditional class with one major web group project (with a group that got to choose). Then finally, there is INFO 340 which has your basic technical Informatics project where you work in a pre-paired grouping. Each of these will provide their own challenges and their own unique rewards. I just need to realize that I need to put in the work this quarter to get the grades that I want to get. I can do this, like I said in my last entry, but I will need help from my teammates. I can only hope that they share the same passion and enthusiasm that I do for these classes. In ten weeks I will know if they did or not.