When something doesn’t go your way, or when something happens that you wish had not happened, what do you do? How do you handle it? I had something happen today and I still cannot decide if the way I acted was right or not. I did what I normally do and now I can just reflect on it.
Now, details of what happened are not the main focus of what I am about to write, nor does it really matter that you know. All you need to know is that I was slightly embarrassed at the time.
What happened after the fact is that I just basically shut down internally. I really canï¿½t pinpoint why I do this when something like this happens. For me, everything just seems to stop and my mind just speeds up and goes to places that Iï¿½d rather keep in the back of my mind. I mean, people put stuff back there for a reason and I am no different. When I start digging back in the recesses of my mind nothing good really comes of it. But, wait; donï¿½t I have good memories back there too? Well, yeah, I do. But, that is not the point of this and it is very rare that they get pulled out in a situation like this.
I am only spending the time to write this because I was asked if I am always like this when stuff like this happens. To be honest, yeah, I usually am. I become very introverted. I like to try to take a step back and decompress what happened and if it is even something to get all worked up over. This process can last a few seconds to hours. Today I was probably somewhere in between. But, I just sit and think and say nothing, absolutely nothing at all. I would not want to be around me when I am like this and I am surprised when people stick around when I am like that.
Overall, I just try to keep it to myself. I have done this in the past and it has worked out. I will generally share what I have a person that is around me that I trust and have confidence in. I understand that it is not good to retain all pent-up things inside and so it is nice to just vent and get it over with. The venting is not something that I am particularly fond of, but it needs to be done for me to move on.
Sitting here writing this I am no where near the state of mind that I was earlier today when I thought of writing this. I think that everything will workout better than I think it was going to earlier today. What has happened has happened and I can accept that and there are no more hard feelings. I canï¿½t hold a grudge, warranted or not. It was accidental and nothing was meant of it. That is something that I can accept and move on from.