Everyone has those things that they know that are their “faults” or “imperfections.” You usually don’t like to hear about them and when they are brought up, it is a topic that you wish could just be pushed away, however valid it is to be pushed away or not. Over the past week I have been reflecting on what I could improve on for the benefit of myself and those around me. This is not that I am trying to be some super human an be perfect in all aspects of life, but I know I can improve on some of the things that I do.
It has been interesting to take a look back and think about why I am the way I am today. There are many different things that shape who I am, but it is up to me so shape who I will become. It is completely up to me. I realize this, and there are things that I want to improve on. I say improve on because I don’t think that change is the right word. I am not planning on deviating paths dramatically from who I am now. That would be difficult to do and I don’t think the effort put into it would be worth the outcome. That is just how I see it.
What I do know is that I have some things that I need to improve. I need to be more supportive and positive of other people and what they accomplish. I am a jealous person at times and I tend to belittle the accomplishments of others to bring them back down to “my level.” however far down that is. I need to stop doing this. These people are my friends and I am have so much pride in the fact that they are my friends and the things that they accomplish that I just can’t do this anymore. They need credit where it is due. Maybe, need is the wrong word. A better word choice would be deserve. They completely deserve it. It is much easier to criticize then it is to compliment. I need to take a piece of my own advice and follow this.
One of the things that I think of when I think about personal change is the fact about how I have moved from a self-centered person to one who is more selfless than selfish. During high school is was all about Ryan Prins and no one else. I had the mentality of me first and I’ll think about you later. That only goes so far and I had to stop that. The change came right before I came to college. I had a change in attitude and outlook on how I was treating people and how I felt that the deserved to be treated. This has led me to be, in my point of view, more selfless then selfish. I would say that I think of others before myself in more situations than not. This is the largest notable improvement that I have seen in myself.
This is the kind of improvement that I am looking for. I think I am in the situation right now to make the move. I am being shown things that I never knew existed and it is all beginning to make sense to me.
Only until recently have these things/ideas have been popping up in my mind. I am glad that they came up now as opposed to later. When I talk about them I know that they are things that are affecting other people that I care about, like I said above. I need to take a step back before I take a step forward and now it’s time for me to make that first step. Now is a better time then never, let’s begin with the toughest step, the first one.